Monday, May 4, 2015

Surviving Mother's Day...at the Mall

It was the last Saturday before Christmas, and Daddy needed me to go pick up a pair of earrings at the mall for my mother. It was pouring rain. Cars and people were everywhere. The only way to get a parking place in the mall's lot was to stalk another shopper to his or her car. (But I'm not particularly stealthy.)

Then I saw it: a free space at the front of an aisle. I said thank you to my 4-wheel drive and whipped into the place backward. I wouldn't have to park at a Chuck-E-Cheese and hike across a 6-lane road and the entire mall lot to get to one store and make my 30-second transaction.

The car was off, my purse was in my lap, and I was unbuckling when I saw, "Reserved for Pregnant and Nursing Mothers." I cried ugly tears for 10 minutes then moved my car to the Chuck-E-Cheese.

Why did a fake parking sign instigate my nervous breakdown? I had just suffered my fourth miscarriage, and that sign was taunting me: "Hey, Amanda, you aren't good enough to park here. Only people who give birth have a right to spend their money here and enjoy the Christmas season." Yes, that voice was only in my head, and yes, it was amplified by the hormone cocktail saturating my recently-pregnant brain.

Similar events played out around almost every holiday during the 7 years David and I were trying to grow our family. Christmas was bad, but Mother's Day was always the worst.

Survival Tip 1: Recognize Marketing in Action


When retailers decorate and advertise for Mother's Day, they intend to play on the customers' emotions. They want us to feel all sappy and lovey about our mamas so that we spend more money in their stores. Suddenly everything on the rack has "mom in mind." Clothes, electronics, greeting cards--you name it. You don't even have to read the signage because the color schemes are all pastel. Stores feel as if they've been designed for women.

From the parking lot to the check-out counter, no store is safe. While I would never buy my mother something from a lingerie store, your local pink-and-black retailer of all things lacy has posters reminding husbands to "make her feel like a bombshell." Sporting goods and outdoor equipment stores suddenly stock everything in sickening shades of pink, "just for mom." Even car dealerships give free oil changes--and special financing--to "keep mom safe."

This is the commercialization of Mother's Day, and it has undoubtedly damaged the loving spirit of the holiday. But don't let it damage you.

When you are out doing your grocery shopping--or actually buying a gift for your own mom--let the signs remind you how the world sees mothers: as pawns. When you are filled with righteous indignation, make a choice to ignore the gimmicks and truly honor the great women in your life.

So how do you survive the Spring when Mother's Day propaganda is everywhere you need to be? Comment below with your stories or tips, and you'll be entered to win a signed copy of Barren among the Fruitful and a "Be Hopeful" necklace!

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